Prey Post-Completion Thoughts

I finished Prey last night.


Well I was right about having a bad feeling, and it was pretty much what I expected (which I won’t spoil for you in case you want to play it). On the one hand: yeah, this ain’t Half Life 2, what was I expecting? On the other hand, it would be nice if Tommy could have saved someone. Okay, so he saved Earth and that’s nice for Art Bell and his callers (there are numerous “cameos” by Art Bell throughout the game), but it kind of sucks for pretty much everyone who is physically depicted in the game.

I’m not going to point out all of the plot holes, though there are many. And while some might say “Hey it’s a FPS, you don’t play it for the story! STFU n00b! ROFL!”. And they’d be right if this was still the 1990s and they were an adolescent with ADD. I used to play FPS games, but they were never my favorite thing to play. I did beat Doom on hard without cheating (except Impulse 101 once because I ran out of ammo fighting the Icon of Sin, but that doesn’t count), and I did get all the way through Quake (just normal mode, I think) and Hexen and most of the way through Hexen 2. But it all got terribly tedious and boring after a while. Shoot these dozen monsters, shoot those dozen monsters, run through dark corridors, grab the ammo, grab health, shoot another dozen monsters, blah, blah, blah.

The main trouble with Prey is that it goes to great lengths to have the second most interesting protagonist in a FPS in the last few years*, gives him some neat powers, and then proceeds to use that interesting character in a B movie plot with cardboard-thin supporting characters. The acting is great, and there are some fun lines in there. I could go on at length about all the things that are wrong about this mov- er, game’s plot. But instead I’m going to just jump to the epilogue.

The epilogue in Prey is exactly the same epilogue used in the live action Super Mario Brothers movie as well as the Dungeons & Dragon movie. Which is probably quite appropriate seeing as they were also big budget B movies that had some redeeming qualities but were mostly horrific train wrecks. Prey is fun to play, but if it was a movie it would be a Uwe Boll movie.

Actually, I will point out one huge plot hole: When Tommy destroys the Sphere, why did it not occur to him to evacuate the remaining human survivors? Or did he (it wasn’t shown or mentioned)? Or weren’t there any left (no, because The Harvest was supposedly still going on)? Or did Grandfather beam them out with spirit-powers (again, not shown or mentioned)? Or did the writers just forget the whole first third of the game? Well, regardless, it made Tommy and Enisi look like colossal dopes.

*The most interesting protagonist with the neatest powers would be Chell from Portal, of course.

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