SUBWAY FAQ (part 1)

Well my home connection is down, but that won’t stop me from posting today! Today we have a very special post, one which probably won’t make my life easier, because none of you ever eat at my particular SUBWAY, and if you did you’d know the answers to the…

SUBWAY Unofficial FAQ (part 1)

Q: How long is a “footlong” sandwich? How long is a “six-inch”?

A: Go find a ruler. You see those little things called “inches”? Twelve of them make a “foot”. “Half” of “twelve” is “six”. Now, with that in mind, you can figure out exactly how long the “footlong” and “six-inch” sandwiches are without holding up the line.

If you live in Canada, England or some backwater European country that doesn’t use the superior Non-Metric measuring standards, an inch is 2.5 “centimetres”. So a six-inch is 15 cm and a footlong is 30 cm. Your ancestors (assuming they were European) knew what a frickin’ foot was, so don’t give me greif.

Q: That lettuce looks brown… That meat looks like it’s turning…

A: No it doesn’t. You are too frickin’ picky. We go through food so fast that even if we didn’t refridgerate all the meats and vegetables (which we do), the laws of time and space probably wouldn’t allow any of the food to spoil. Plus, do you think we are colorblind? Do you think we’re not hygenic? We eat the frickin sandwiches too! We chop most of the stuff ourselves! If a tomato is bad, it gets tossed! It’s that simple! Don’t frickin’ insult my food preparation skillz, beyatch!

Q: Are the rolls low-carb?

A: No, the rolls are low-fat. The wraps and salads are low-carb. If you’re on a diet, you need to double check what you’re trying to avoid if you’re not sure. SUBWAY has something for pretty much everyone, you just have to make sure it’s what you want.

That’s it for now.

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